A few weeks ago, a man at a client company (we’ll call him Jerry) looked at me and said, “No offense, but why would that many people follow you on LinkedIn?”
The “no offense” was doing the most.
I laughed it off and did what most women do: self-deprecate, say I’m not sure, and be annoyingly humble about it so as not to make him feel bad for being rude. (UGH!). And it’s lived rent-free in my mind ever since.
But then, like the universe was begging for me to hop in, two very famous people said their own versions of it.
Exhibit A: Emma Grede
Oh, Emma. She posted a reel telling women to stop worrying about building a personal brand and just do the work. Her line: “Stop worrying about being the most interesting woman on the internet.”
Exhibit B: Pete Davidson
In a Variety interview last week, Pete Davidson went after women making “get ready with me” videos. He said it makes him sad, and asked, “Does no one else see how f*cking insane and lame this is?”
A brand operator, a multimillionaire founder, and an SNL alum walk into a bar. Different vibes, same deeply old-fashioned question underneath: who gave you permission to have an audience?
Old rules, new game
None of them is malicious. Jerry, I want to believe, was genuinely curious. Emma has built more businesses than most of us will in a lifetime. Pete is a comedian, and provoking people is literally the job. But they’re all running on an old operating system. An antiquated take on a very modern phenomenon: influence.
In the old model, influence came with the title. You climbed the ladder, earned the corner office, and then people listened. The audience was the reward for position.
It’s the same logic behind Emma’s other hot take this year on the Keke Palmer podcast, that “work from home culture is a career killer for women.” Her argument: careers need proximity and visibility, and if you want the raise or the promotion, you need to be there. (I had a response to this one, too.)
I get it. That was the game. But look at who designed the game — corporate America was built by and for men, with a very specific set of people deciding who got seen, promoted, and paid. “Be visible” really meant “be visible to the people holding the keys.” Plenty of women showed up in person every single day and still never got seen.
So when someone says you have to earn the right to an audience, my question is: earn it from whom?
Everyone’s posting. Some people just won’t admit it counts.
Carmen Vicente, or @carmscrolls - my newest fave follow - made a point this week I can’t stop thinking about. Posting online and building a personal brand gets treated as low status, and yet everyone participates. Jacob Elordi posts. Beyoncé posts. People who have very much made it are still online, showing up.
Her take: you can post, everyone is posting, and it doesn’t have to feel icky or like you’re trading in your values to show up where everyone already is. And the people who trash it? Most have never had to negotiate their own social status.
Now let’s go back to Exhibit A. Does Emma Grede need a personal brand? Her bank account says no. Her resume doesn’t need it. And yet (!!) she has a podcast, a YouTube channel, a book with a v successful book tour, and she posts on TikTok all the time. She is building her personal brand harder than ever. (I mean, she told us not to worry about ours… in a reel.)
Actions speak louder than reels here. When the people at the very top keep showing up online, that tells you there’s real social capital on the table, and it’s worth participating now, not until “you’ve made it.”
What brands already know
Brands figured this out a while ago. LTK CEO Amber Venz Box told TechCrunch that followings stopped mattering entirely once the algorithm took over. A Northwestern study LTK commissioned found trust in creators jumped 21% in a year, and 97% of CMOs plan to grow their creator budgets.
My dear friend and newly minted Director of Creators and Community at Bobbie, Celeste DePaola said the same thing:
“The possibility of going viral has democratized the creator industry and the art of influencing. Anyone can post and everyone has a chance of going viral, so the future of the creator economy won’t be dictated by follower count, but creativity and a true connection to their audience, regardless of size.”
People are moving toward humans they believe are real, hence the resurgence of newsletters and vlogging.
Why this old take won’t die
Here’s my theory. These antiquated takes are a symptom of the patriarchy, with a side of girl boss era SOPs.
The patriarchy part is simple. Women’s ambition has always been tolerated as long as nobody has to watch it happen. Notice who Pete was mad at. It wasn’t the guys streaming video games for twelve hours. It was women, talking to a camera, getting paid, landing brand deals, and earning online devotion.
The girl boss part is sneakier. We spent a decade watching women’s ambition get packaged into MLM DMs, “hey hun, let me tell you about this lipgloss” energy. And for sooo many of us, myself included, we learned to idolize the brands, mimic the way of working and the women at the helm. And then we watched it all burn.
So now when a woman shares her work online, there’s a reflex to roll your eyes before she even finishes the sentence. That reflex is the problem, not her post.
The Jerry in your head
And honestly? Jerry isn’t the one stopping most of us. It’s the little voice that pipes up right before we hit post: who am I to say this? Why does anyone care what I have to say? is this cringe?
Social strategist, hype girl, and brand expert, Sara McCord once said to me something to the effect of “who told women that our voice and our story is cringe to share?” And she’s right!!
My take: Who the f*ck cares? Everyone’s doing it. Nobody is judging you as much as you judge yourself. So, jump in!
Telling people they need to already be somebody before they’re allowed to participate is just untrue. That’s literally the entire creator economy. It’s also a disservice to every interesting voice, story, perspective, joke, and creative idea that deserves a platform and won’t get one if we all wait for permission.
I’ve said it once, and I stand by it: TO BE CRINGE IS TO BE FREE! If you’re building, launching, creating, or growing something, go for it.
So, Jerry, my guy, here’s your answer:
9,000 people follow me on LinkedIn because I have a point of view, I advocate for women in the workplace, I am a brand expert who’s not afraid to give her opinion and I like to think I’m a touch funny, too. I engage with the humans who engage with me, so I guess that’s it. We choose to be there together.
So, no offense, but you had it all wrong. You don’t need to wait to be handed a microphone. You just start.
xx,
Cat
